What defines it? What makes it stand out? Who gets to decide what ‘is’ or ‘isn’t’ eco-friendly?

Like seriously? Who is it that we think is watching over us, judging our every move and deciding that yip, that’s one eco-friendly human over there!

There isn’t anyone.

“Eco-friendly” is a concept. It’s not a perfectly or clearly defined term. It’s edges are blurred and crossed and squiggly. They’re different for everyone.

So, what actually is an eco-wedding?

The short answer? There’s no such thing.


But there’s also, so many such things.

Because you have one description of what eco-friendly means and I have another. Because your wedding will be waste free and someone else’s will be carbon negative. Because you have your desires, passions and values and everyone else has theirs. And that’s what makes this eco-friendly thing so wonderful. Because we’re all tackling it in different ways, we’re all making differences in different places, and together – we’re one hell of a team.

A tattooed bride and her groom stand on the waterfront within a circle of candles, her bouquet on full show.
Photo Credit: Danielle Reese (via Pexels)

There’s no such thing as perfect.

Because how can you be perfect if there are no clearly defined edges. You’d be running around like crazy trying to reach a goal that doesn’t exist, a target that moves every time you get close.

But that doesn’t mean we should give up.

It means we should accept that we don’t personally have to do everything. It means we should stay in our lane, respect our boundaries. Do with our ability what fits in our circumstance. Because what matters isn’t that you’re nailing every single element. Or that your whole entire wedding is ‘eco-friendly’ and it gives back to the environment and you love and agree with every element and every decision.

What matters is that you care.

That you care enough to do the research. To consider your options. To look at those decisions and those pieces of your wedding holistically, with an understanding of the impacts they have before your wedding, during your wedding and after your wedding.

And that you use that care and that research and that knowledge to make the decision that is right for you.

And maybe that decision wasn’t the most ‘eco-friendly’ one. And maybe someone else would have done this ‘better’ or in a ‘more eco-friendly’ way.

But that’s okay, because you’re human. And you’re you. And you can’t do everything.

But you can do some things.
THAT, is what matters.

Comparison is your enemy.

First things first: if there’s no such thing as perfect, then we can right here, right now, stop comparing ourselves to others.

Because if all of our targets are in different places, then how can we possibly look at someone else and decide if they are doing ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than we are.

Often our targets are predetermined by situations in our life that we have no control over. Often, they’re determined by our personal passions and pet peeves. Sometimes, they’re determined by our mindset, or our personality. Our focus. And those things are all invisible to others. You don’t know where someone else’s target is set up. You don’t know how hard or easy it is for them to get to their target. You do know that you’re not aiming for their target and they’re not aiming for yours.

So compare yourself to yourself.

How far have you come? What changes have you made? What would you from a year ago have done? What would you like you from a year in the future to do? The only person you need to be focused on bettering is you. Because as long as you’re making progress (and it doesn’t matter how small), you’re growing! And I guarantee in a years time you’ll look back and be absolutely wowed by the difference.

So, then – if there’s no such thing as a perfectly eco-friendly wedding. Who exactly is Emerald and Ebony for?

Emerald and Ebony is a wedding planning business here to help anyone and everyone planning a wedding (or about to plan a wedding!) with a desire to include eco-friendly practices, big or small.

I’m not here to judge where your personal eco-friendly targets are, or to push you to focus on eco-friendly practices that don’t fit with your lifestyle. For some people I’m here to help identify what your passions and values are, which ones you’d like to represent in your wedding, and to help you achieve just that. For other people I’m here to build on your ideas, to run with your thoughts and values and take them further than you could take them alone. Maybe I’m here to suggest a few easy inclusions that you can use to get yourself started along the track. Or for ideas of things that you haven’t yet considered.

You don’t need to know about being ‘eco’, or about planning a wedding (because that’s what I do), all I need is for you to care and to be willing to embrace, at least some, potentially quite minimal changes, to ensure that you’re making a difference.

I’m here to help you and to guide you, not only with planning a wedding. But with making sure that wedding aligns with your values.
I’m not here to make decisions for you, or to push you in a certain direction.
I’m here for extra knowledge, advice and a shoulder to lean on so that you can be confident you’re making choices, aligned with your values, that you can be proud of.
Because planning a wedding is hard enough, throw that ‘eco-wedding’ word in there and you just got yourself a whole bunch more wedding overwhelm.

But I’ve got you.
Because I’ve done this before.

You ready to do this thing? Let’s plan you an eco-wedding! 😉

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Emerald and Ebony – Planning Eco-friendly weddings in Taranaki and beyond.

1 Comment on “So, what actually is an eco-wedding?

  1. Pingback: Eco-Wedding Tips & Tricks - How to make eco-friendly wedding decisions

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